5 Shitty Xbox Live Gamertags and They’re Actual Meaning
So I’m on Xbox Live a lot. I mostly play FPS’s (First Person Shooters) like Call of Duty and Halo. (There’s even a term amongst my friends that originated with me and that fucking game called “Halo Mad.” But that’s another article.) And yes, before you dismiss my gaming identity because I play FPS I also play WoW, Skyrim, Zelda, Mass Effect, and all that other shit.
During my many travels in the wonderful, innocent, “mother fucking, corpse humping, fag” filled world that is Xbox Live, I have come across numerous gamertags. And what baffles me the most is that people are paying for these gamertags. Xbox Live has a monthly membership fee and to change your gamertag you have to pay for it. have picked out 5 of my favorite categories of gamertags and I am going to try and decipher their meaning.
The L33t G4m3r
Now, this used to be cool in Counter- Strike. In 2003. And only like one 3 was used in place of an ‘e’ and it usually was actually pretty clever. Xbox Live isn’t having any of that shit. I’ll bet deciphering the Nazi Enigma was easier than trying to read whatever the fuck that gamertag says. (It’s MysteryBoxBuyer, a reference to CoD Zombies.)
This dude just said “fuck it” and threw the word ‘LEET’ in there just so you’d know he was leet. As if the random capitalized letters and ‘z’ didn’t give it away.
What It Actually Means:
This 13 year old saw and older brother/kid’s old gamertag and went ape shit with it. This is the same principle the “Adjective Movie” movies go by; they just reference something that was funny/cool but in a really shitty, unoriginal way.
What They Do During a game (Sn1p3r 1, Going Ham, B34st M0d3, Rage Quitter)
These are the assholes that are going to piss you off the most. At least with the W33D douche he is going to be comically bad, but the people that use what they do in-game in their gamertag are fucking twats. They are the 13 year old “L33T” kids that grew up and got worse at the game.
This is actually funny for absolutely no reason.
What It Actually Means:
"I’m fucking terrible at this game. Please put me out of my misery."
I fucking hate the w33d references in gamertags. I immediately report that shit. You are not awesome when adding 420 or kush or some bullshit like that to your gamertag. You’re a fucking tool. You don’t see me adding titz to my B00BSkweezer gamertag. I don’t even have to decipher this meaning, that fantastic picture up there does it for me.
Le Fucking Sigh.
The Jersey Shore-ers (Aka The Douchebag)
Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone on this list (except number 5) is a total douche but not “A Douchebag.” The Douchebag thinks their real life, misguided sense of “coolness” should transfer over into their gaming life because their ultra doucheness knows no bounds goddammit.
Mother fucker’s avatar has a beanie and diamond earrings. Tell me that isn’t cringe worthy douchebaggery.
The 4th person’s gamertag was so douchey even Xbox Live couldn’t recognize it. That person out douched Xbox Live.
What It Actually Means:
It means you wear Affliction, Ed Hardy, and Tap Out. On purpose. In real life.
Out of Fucking Left Field (WTF Does That Even Mean)
These don’t necessarily piss me off or are a scourge in the Xbox Live world, but rather some funny, just what the fuck type moments.
This one made me lol.
I think this one is brilliant.
Fucking Xbox Live always busting balls. Either that or they’re a bunch of homophobes.
This is perfect because instead of thinking of a bad ass gamer tag he just went ahead and used the phrase “bad ass gamertag.” What is even more perfect is that there are 4 other people thinking the same thing.
They’re Actual Name
I couldn’t find a good enough picture for this but trust me, they are out there. Either they have never heard of spam and identity theft or are so ego maniacal that they must make sure everyone on the planet knows who they are, whatever it is they are doing.
Animals in the Name
Yes, this is a thing. And it is common as shit.
Either they’re a couple or I’m not up to speed on the whole “Festive Animal” internet sensation.
16 Notes/ Hide
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